Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Insane
by ShadowMunchlax
Summary: What happens when a sarcasticly lazy ex-human wakes up as a Munchlax, to be greeted by a scardy-cat Pikachu with a North Wales accent? A whole lotta fun, that's for sure. Contains some mild language and violence, along with some messed-up pairings.
1. 1 A Storm At Sea

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon – Insane.

Chapter 1 – A Storm at Sea

"H-Hey! Ho-hold on there!"  
The dark blue body grunted, its plump paw gripped tightly around the young human's wrist. She whispered a prayer to anyone who was listening; her head bowed as crystal-like tears slowly dripping down her face.

"Si, help me!" it hissed, flicking an ear towards the green shape behind. Nodding its lizard-like head, it hopped over; grabbing the girl's other hand.

"It's okay," he whispered, pushing his snout behind her ash brown hair, "You'll be okay."  
The girl's hazel eyes blinked, brimming with tears. "Thank you," she whispered back. She stopped, her pupils widening.

"G-guys," she whispered.

"Not now," the blue Pokémon hissed, "Almost...there!"  
The girl slid back onto the ground, but her pupils were so wide.

'What the-'

"Dark Void!"

"NO!"  
"HUH?!?"

The girl ran in front of her two Pokémon, taking the hit. Slowly, she fell back over the side, before any of them could grab her again. "SEREN!" they yelled in unison, eyes wide.

"Urg...Jesus."

Raising her head, she groaned, eyes slanted against the sudden harsh sunlight, blinking meekly.

"What the?" she whispered, placing her hands into the soft sand beneath her, attempting to push herself up, "Frick." She smacked back down onto the ground, pupils slitted angrily.

"Jeez, where am I?" she muttered, flicking her head slightly. She felt cool water lap against her side, but it burned into a deep cut on her waist.

Moaning, her head hit the floor, and everything went dark.

"All right, I can do this. I can do this."  
The male Pikachu clenched his paws, and then nervously licked a strand of his chest fur down, ears flat against the back of his head.

"Come on Ashton," he whispered, gently flicking his tail, green eyes shut, "Focus, focus, focus..."  
He glanced up at the Wigglytuff shaped tent, its pale pink canvas reflecting the setting sun behind it.

"All right!" he cried, his mild North Welsh accent breaking slightly, "I am going to do this!"

Electricity bounced off of his tail, as he sprinted towards the grate.  
"Pokémon detected! Pokémon detected!"

The jagged fur on the end of his tail stood up nervously, as the young male voice was replied by a gruffer one.

"Whose footprint? Whose footprint?!"

"The footprint belongs to...PIKACHU! The footprint belongs to PIKACHU!"

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!" he exclaimed, tumbling off of the grate, panting hard, "That was...woah..." He sat up, gasping for breath. "Well, screw this," he growled, glancing at the small patterned rock tied around his neck, "Not even my lucky charm could make me brave enough." His tail flicked impatiently. "Natures – what the hell are they for?!"

He stormed off; face dark with anger as he randomly cursed to himself.

i "Psst. Hey, Karl, did ya' see that?"  
"See what Zak?"  
THWACK!  
The Zubat hit the Koffing across the back of its head. "That Pikachu, dumbo," she hissed, eyeless face glaring – somehow – at her gassy companion, "Didn't you see that rock he had?"  
"Just looked like a rock," the Koffing – Karl – muttered, slanting his eyes. "Well, it looked like more than that to ME," the Zubat – Zak – growled, rubbing a wing under her chin, "Come on, I've got an idea." She flew off. Karl rolled his eyes at her, muttering angrily. "She'll be the death of us one day," he hissed, floating on after her. /i

"Stupid...STUPID PIECE OF CRAP!" Ashton snarled, ripping the rock from his neck, and throwing it into the distance of the beach. It landed with a soft 'thump' in the sand. Sighing, he trotted over to it, and glanced out to sea, watching the sun slowly setting beneath the waves. A soft smile covered his small yellow face. He slowly padded out into the water, then caught his reflection in the water, and snorted. Unlike most Pikachus, his cheeks were an azure-blue, instead of a bright cherry red. Green eyes glimmering, he stared at the small, triangular patch on his head, the same colour as that of a Shiny Pikachus, but, it was the only part of him that was. He didn't know how he was like this – he knew the triangle was because he had some Pachirisu in him, but what explained the blue cheeks? And the green eyes for that matter – his family had either dark, chocolate brown eyes, or bright, sky blue ones.

Growling, he stamped his paw in the water and stormed back onto the beach, flicking sand off of his wet paws.  
"Urg..."

He jumped, fur on end. What was that? A...monster?

'Don't be so stupid Ashton,' he thought angrily, flicking his ears, 'There's no such things as MONSTERS! Tch!' He rolled his eyes at himself, and then slowly trotted forwards. Funny. He never remembered there being a massive teal rock on this beach before.

"Oh Dialga..."  
He placed a paw back, eyes wide. It talked?! "Oh my gosh," he whispered, "This is beyond wicked."

He slowly padded towards it, holding his breath. "Hello?" he asked, pawing the 'rock', "Are you okay?" His paw sunk into its soft, chubby back. He frowned. This wasn't a rock...

He grabbed a stick and poked it again. Part of the rock came apart and pawed it away, mumbling. "It's a Pokémon!" Ashton gasped, lurching backwards, "Oh my god...ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!"  
"Urg...my head..." Slowly, the strange Pokémon began to stand up, digging its front paws into the sand. The claws on its feet glinted menacingly, its plump shoulders raised up. Pointed ears flicked quickly, the left hand one with jagged fur lowering down slowly.

"Um, excuse me," Ashton said, slowly padding around it. He saw that the right side of the whatever-it-was was covered with a long side fringe. He pushed it out of the way to be met with a glimmering hazel eye surrounded by purple fur. "Are you alright?" he asked, tilting his head.

Its pupil flickered towards him, and it blinked hardly at him.

"Holy mother of Galifrey, who the blydi hell are you, munchlax-munch?!" it growled. Its pupil shrunk and its mouth drooped open slightly, the edge of its large pink tongue lolling out slightly. Its voice was quite deep, but also low and feminine, with a slight Welsh accent – Swansea, maybe? Or Cardiff? He couldn't decide...

It sat up quickly, obviously a little too quickly, because its eyes glazed over slightly then squeezed shut, as a low groan escaped its mouth. Ashton's eyes widened.

'It's a Munchlax!' he thought with a quick gasp. He stared at its belly and raised an eyebrow. 'And a really fat one at that!'

"Oh jeez," it groaned, staring at the sky, "Please don't tell me that I took some of Aled's meds..."  
"Who's Aled?" he asked, pawing up towards it. It paused, frowning. "I...I can't remember..."

Its pupils shrunk. "I-I don't remember anything..."  
"What?" The Pikachu placed his paws on the Munchlax's rotund stomach, chuckling. "What kind of bump on the head did you get?"  
"No, I didn't bump my head," it said, shaking its head, side fringe flailing about as it did so, "I...fell...into the water..."

"From where?" he asked. Something about this Munchlax wasn't normal. It pushed its fringe from its eyes – he noticed the purple fur was in the shape of a five-point star. "From...from...OHHH!"

It slapped a paw to the side of its head, teeth gritted. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" it growled.

"Well...can you remember your name, at least?" he enquired, kneading his paws into its belly in an absent minded sort of fashion.

"Starts with an s...s...s...Sarah? No, no...Se...Ser..."  
"Seren?" he suggested.

"YEAH!" it cried, "How'd you know?"  
"Well, I took the hint with the stars," he chuckled, nodding at the purple patch on its right eye, and the neon pink stars on the fingerless gloves that covered its fat paws. He made a mental note of the fact the wrists looked a bit squeezed in there. "And I remember my parents telling me about the name once."  
"Oooh, riiight," it said, nodding.

"Though, I've gotta ask...are you a guy?"  
Seren's pupils because slits. "I...am...a...girl," she snarled, "Couldn't you tell from the bo-"  
She paused, her left paw still pointing at her chest. Her pupils shrank, a small raspy sound emitting from her mouth.

"I'm a...a...a..."  
"Munchlax?" Ashton finished for her, "I thought you knew."  
"I shouldn't be a Munchlax," Seren said, completely ignoring him and grabbing hold of her head. She jumped to her feet, jagged ear twitching. She stared all around her, from her chunky belly to her clawed toes. "HOLY SON OF A TROUT!" she screamed, "I'M A FECKING MUNCHLAX!"  
Her pupils widened. "I'm...I'm a Munchlax..." She squeaked slightly.

"Holy joys," she hissed, "I am a Munchlax. I am officially awesome and made of win! Kikiki~!"

Ashton sweatdropped. "That's wonder –OOF!"

He fell flat on his face, his Relic Fragment slipping from his neck.

"Oh, terribly sorry!" a soft female voice behind him cackled, "I'm afraid I slipped. Karl!"

"Okie-dokie!" He spotted a Koffing swoop towards the rock and grabbed it between his teeth.

"Take that, bitches!" a female Zubat snickered, sticking her tongue out at him.

"HEY!" Ashton yelled, jumping back onto his paws, "Give it back!"

"Um, lemme thi – no," the Zubat said, "Want it?"  
He nodded. "Then come get it, loser! HEH HEH HEH!"  
The two zoomed off into a cave. Ashton's face grew dark.

He'd never get it back now! Unless...

"Hey, uh, Seren!" he said, turning towards the Munchlax, before a major sweatdrop rolled down his face. She was twirling about on the sand, singing on the top of her voice.

"iALL WE'VE EVER WANTED WAS TO LOOK GOOD NAKED, HOPE THAT SOMEONE COULD TAKE IT~!/i" She belted, twirling around on the sand towards him, "Oh, 'olla!"

He frowned at her. "Did, did you not see what just happened there then?" he asked, pointing.

"Um...nope," Seren replied, smiling, "Too busy spazing."  
"...great," he muttered, "Look, will you help me get those twits who stole my Relic Fragment?"

"Me?" she snorted, "A strange Munchlax you just found on the beach who used to be human?"  
"Ye – wait, WHAT?!" Ashton backed off slightly. "How big a bump on the head did you have?"

"But I am a human!" she cried, "I swear!"  
"Okay...tell me something only a human would know."  
"I told you, I've forgotten a load of things."  
He rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. Come on, we'd better get started in this cave."

He stomped off into it, Seren skipping behind him.

"By the way, what's a Relic Fragment?"

Ashton flinched. It was going to be one long day...

"They are sure taking their time, aren't they?" Zak muttered, glancing behind her.

"Yeah, they are," Karl replied, raising an eye, "By the way Zak, why the hell did we steal a freaking rock?!"

"Well, just look at it Karl," the Zubat replied, pointing at the Relic Fragment, "It's got some interesting tribal-ish markings on it – it could be worth a few bob down the market."

Karl nodded and glanced at his friend. "D'you think the boss will be happy though? That we're flunking off to steal a pretty rock from some runty Pikachu?"  
"Oh come on, when we sell this for some good money, he won't give a damn," Zak cackled.

"That's where you are wrong!" a harsh voice behind them snapped.

They turned to see Seren and Ashton standing there, Ashton's fur on end with nerves, Seren's eyes glinting.

"Oh, so you finally turned up, did you?!" Zak cried, "Goodness, I was starting the think you'd chickened out!"  
"Whatever," Seren said, making a w with her claws, "Just hand Ashton his dumb rock and let's be done with it."

"Um, no," Karl said sharply, "But we'll fight you for it."  
"Deal," Seren snarled.

"WHAT?!" Ashton yelled, "Seren, we can't fight them!"  
"Oh yes we can," she replied darkly, "We can whip their asses into next millennium if we try hard enough." She turned to face him. Her mouth was pulled into a large smirk, her hazel eyes twinkling mischievously. "Metronome!" she screamed, her claws glowing a bright white. She hurtled towards the two, roaring loudly. She stepped back, her eyes glittering. "Oh my God, I used Roar!" she cried, shoving her hands into fists and squealing loudly. Ashton rolled his eyes and cried, "Discharge!"  
Seren stared at him, her face bright pink, giggling. "YOU SAID A FUNNY WORD!" she screamed, laughing hard.

Ashton stared at her, shook his head and then fired his ball of electricity at the two vagabonds.

"BITE!" Zak cried.

"Smog!" Karl added. The thick gas formed around them. Ashton lay low, coughing madly. Seren strained her eyes to stare through it, and managed to see Zak hurtling towards her, fangs bared.

"Shi-"  
Too late, Zak had bitten into her arm. She screeched in pain. "Get off!" she cried.

"Nether!" came Zak's muffled reply, as she used her wings to flap away the gas. Seren growled. "You will get off my arm now or I will do something drastic," she hissed her voice low and dark.

Ashton frowned before being hit by a Tackle attack from Karl. He hissed and aimed a Thunderbolt at the Koffing, who cried out in pain and smashed into a wall, fainting. He turned to Seren to help her to see...

"SEREN!" he squeaked, eyes wide. She had Zak grasped between her jaws, and was shaking the Zubat madly from side to side. He ran over and punched her in the mouth, making her drop Zak to the sandy floor with a soft 'flump'.

"Seren," he whispered, "What was that for?!" Seren licked away the trickles of blood from her muzzle, grinning at the salty, tangy taste. "She should've let go," she hissed, staring at the bloodied Zubat, who nervously got into the air, wings flapping steadily.

"You'll regret this!" she cried, "For the rest of your life! Come on Karl!"  
"Urg...coming Zak..." The Koffing got into the air, and the two legged it.

Ashton shook his head and picked up his Relic Fragment with a happy sigh. "Thanks Seren," he said, "How can I ever repay you?"

The Munchlax paused, a wide smirk over her face.

"Well...there is...ONE way you could..."  
"Anything," Ashton said with a soft smile, "I'm just happy to get my Relic Fragment back..."  
"Good, good," Seren giggled, "Let's go back to the beach while I think about how you could repay me..."


	2. 2 Lunch and the Guild

PMD Insane – Chapter 2

Lunch and The Guild

"So, what was that favour you wanted of me?"  
Seren glanced at Ashton and smirked. She slowed her pace down slightly and scratched under her chin, chuckling quietly.

"Well, there is only one way to do so," she chortled, ears twitching.

"And that would be?" Ashton asked slowly. iGod, is she trying to be so annoying?/i

"FEED ME~!" she cried, throwing her arms in the air, "All night long~!"

Ashton simply frowned at her and raised an eyebrow. "What?" he snorted.

Seren sweatdropped. "Get me lunch or I'll kill you," she muttered, scratching her belly, "NOW."  
The Pikachu twitched his ears.

"Um...okay?" he said slowly, "That's the favour you want off of me? For me to buy you food?"  
"Yes!" Seren exclaimed, grinning madly, "Now, any good places in town?

"Well, there is Spinda Cafe," Ashton mumbled, shrugging over his shoulder, "I go there a lot-"  
"Spinda Cafe it is~!" she exclaimed, grabbing him by the paw and running off, "Where is it?"  
"Just past the place shaped like a Duskull's head," he groaned. It was going to be a VERY long day.

"Here it is." Ashton's ears twitched towards the medium-ish tent in front of them. It was a pale tan in colour and over the entrance read a sign saying, 'Spinda Cafe'. Beside it was a little picture of a Spinda, grinning like a manic.

Seren raised her head and sniffed heavily, a sudden trickle of drool dripping down her muzzle.

"Mmm," she murmured, licking her lips, "Something smells good!"  
"Best food in town or your money back," he explained, "Come on." He trotted inside the door, Seren dragging herself behind him. The scents of the place hit her even harder when she entered.

This was truly a heaven to her.

"Ah, Ashton!" a bright male voice said suddenly. She blinked at the Spinda. The small panda-like Pokémon twirled on its heel and grinned at her.

"Oh? And who is this?" he asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

"Seren," she said, ears twitching, "And I am STARVING!"

"Oh, I bet you are Miss," the Spinda chuckled, "This way!" He twirled back around and wobbled towards a table for two in the corner. "Sit, sit."  
Ashton jumped up onto a chair, and instantly shoved a menu at Seren. "The usual please, Kenny," he said, grinning.

"And for you?" the Spinda – obviously called Kenny – asked, turning to Seren. She jumped up on her chair, which let out a low groan of protest against her weight. She growled and glanced at the menu.

"Um, I'll have a...um..." Her belly rumbled, as if urging her on. "I'll have the spaghetti!" she cried, noticing it in the corner, "And two rounds of garlic bread!"

Kenny frowned and nodded. "You sure that is all?" he asked. She nodded. "Yes, quite sure."  
"Ah, okay. Good. Come up to the bar when you're ready to order your drinks."

He toddled away, leaving them alone.

"So," Seren whispered, leaning forwards, "This is what it's like being a Pokémon, is it?"

Ashton glanced at her, his fingers tapping on the table. "You really think you used to be human, eh?" he snorted, "You're well stupid, d'you know that?"

Her cheeks blushed a bright pink and she growled. "I'll go get our drinks," she hissed, "What do you want, a cold glass of arsenic?"

"No, a Diet Coke please," he said blankly. She growled again and stomped to the bar.

"Hello, I'd like to order drinks please!" she barked.

"Jeez, keep yer fur on!" A female Wobbuffet in her twenties turned to her and paused, a frown upon her face. "Do I know you?" she asked quickly.

Seren frowned. "Uh, not so's far as I knows, mun," she muttered, muzzle twitching, "Probably just remind you of someone."  
"Um, yes, probably," the Wobbuffet said hurriedly, glancing around, "My mistake...drinks?"  
"I'll 'ave another Sash," an Empoleon by the bar said, "HIC."  
"I think you've had more than enough Christopher," the Wobbuffet said sternly, "I was asking the Munchlax what she wanted, anyway."  
"Um, Diet Coke and a Sprite please," Seren asked, a slight sweatdrop rolling down her face. These Pokémon were weird.

"I'm assuming you've already eaten?" the Wobbuffet said, glancing at the large bulge of Seren's belly.

"NO!" Seren cried, her cheeks blushing again, "JESUS."

"Only asking," she muttered, handing the drinks over, "Straw?"  
"In the lemonade," Seren growled, "Coldness hurts."

The Wobbuffet snorted and placed a pale green straw in her glass. "Enjoy."

"Thanks." She stormed back to their table, muttering to herself. She shoved the glass at Ashton and sat down, gulping her drink.

"Hey, save some for the meal!" Ashton snorted, taking a quick sip of his.

"_Cae lân Gog_," she hissed, leaning her face on her palm.

"No need to be so rude about it," he muttered, turning away. At that moment, Kenny came back with their meals. He placed a pizza in front of Ashton and a large bowl of spaghetti in front of Seren.

"Enjoy your meal," he said curtly, "Ashton, I'll put it on your bill?"  
"Yeah, yeah," Ashton said, flicking his paw, "Thanks." Kenny smiled and went away again.

"Oh my God, this smells so good!" Seren cried, licking her lips. Her pupils were wide, the hazely-brown iris' twinkling. Ashton smiled and picked up a slice of pizza.

"You can have an ice cream later if you want," he said, gulping it down. iAsk a stupid question/i he thought.

She wasn't paying attention, as she'd already grabbed a fork and was greedily gulping down the pasta. "This tastes even better than it smells!" she cried, wiping her tongue around her mouth, "So good!"

By the time Ashton was on his second slice of pizza, Seren had already finished, and was gulping down the garlic bread. "That was fast," he mused, finishing off the slice and advancing for a third. She glanced at the barely eaten pizza and licked her lips.

"You gonna-"  
"Yes."  
"Can I-"  
"No."  
"Aw, but I only want-"  
"No."  
"But-"  
"No."  
"Bu-"

"NO," he said firmly, tail twitching. She pouted.

"You've got tomato sauce all over yer' gob," he growled. She snorted and wiped her mouth hard.  
"Gone."  
"Yeah."  
"Can I-"  
"FINE!" he yelled, "God."

Seren grinned and grabbed a slice. She paused and threw it into her mouth whole, swallowing. Ashton stared at her, mouth agog.

"How'd you do that?" he said, pointing at her.

"I've seen my Munchlaxes do it before so I thought I'd give it a try!" she explained, grinning. She stopped and blinked.

"YOUR Munchlaxes?" he said, raising an eyebrow, "What do you mean, YOUR Munchlaxes?"  
She glanced at her empty – save for a few bright red streaks of tomato – bowl. "I don't know," she said, ears going flat down, "The words just came out of my mouth..." She looked at him.  
"I've heard humans kept Pokémon in tiny little balls and made them battle with each other, against their will," he said slowly, pushing the pizza towards her.

"Can I-"  
"Yeah," he said, nodding. She started gulping down what was left of his pizza, and nodded for him to continue.

"They called them...Pokémon Trainers," he went on, nodding, "And they go through these battles with other humans to win small pieces of metal called, um..."  
"Badges," Seren whispered, "Gym Leaders!" Ashton glanced up at her.

"You really were human," he muttered, leaning back in his chair, "Tidy."  
"Yeah but...I don't know how I remember any of this," she said, "I can't remember much. You saying those things just...brought them back..."

She lay back, placing her arms on her belly. She felt nicely full after the meal, but maybe she could squeeze a little bit more food in there...

"Hey, get that Kenny guy over 'ere now. I want me some ice-cream!"

Ashton sighed. In one ear and out the other, the saying went.

After Seren had eaten two and a half ice-creams (Half because they'd ran out of it and just gave her the carton in the end), the Pikachu and Munchlax duo finally left the Cafe.

Ashton muttered angry mutterings to himself, due to the large amount of money he had to pay up after Seren's feasting. Seren ignored him and instead rubbed her now very full belly and basked in the late afternoon sunshine.

"Well, I better get going," she yawned, "Things to do, places to see, naps to be had."  
"Yeah, okay," Ashton mumbled, walking away. He stopped suddenly and turned. "Wait!" he cried, "You don't have anywhere to stay!"  
"I could find somewhere!" she replied sharply, "I'm sure someplace will have me!"  
"Yeah, someplace with some poor unsuspecting Pokémon who you'll eat out of house and home!" he snorted, trotting back up to her. He stopped and an idea dawned on him.

"Hey, how about we become an exploration team!" he cried, jumping onto his hind legs.

"An exploration what?" she replied, frowning.

"Come with me," he said, running off, "I'll show you!"  
She groaned and followed him. _Urg, running on a full stomach is never good,_ she thought.

Soon, they'd reached a large flight of steps. She glared at them. She was already out of breath from the brisk run from the other side of town, this would kill her.

"You want me to climb THAT?" she exclaimed, "NO WAY! CARRY ME!"  
"Fat chance, fat ass," he snickered, as he started climbing up them. She gave a sharp, "LAX!" of rage and scrambled after him.

"AND HERE IT IS!" he stated as he reached the top, "The Wigglytuff Guild, where all the greatest exploration teams start out!" He paused as he noticed Seren wasn't there. "Se?"

"I...freaking...hate...you..." Seren gasped, dragging herself towards him and giving him a weak slap across the head, "So...freaking...MUCH."

"Whatever," he muttered, rolling his eyes. He walked forwards onto the grid and inhaled.

"Pokémon detected! Pokémon detected!"

"Who's footprint? Who's footprint?"  
"The footprint is Pikachu's! The footprint is Pikachu's!"

"Come on it!"

"YIKES!" Ashton cried, running off, "O-okay Seren, your turn."

Seren groaned and pulled herself forwards, frowning at the gate. How on earth could this thing hold her weight? A low creak told her it wasn't, much.

"Pokémon detected! Poké-"  
"Just tell me what Pokémon it is already Duncan."

"O-okay...the footprint is...um...ohm..."

"WHAT DUNCAN? CAN'T YOU TELL?"  
"Um-um, THE FOOTPRINT IS EEVEE'S!"  
Seren glared at the grate, her pupils slits.

"...what?" she hissed, "What did they say?"  
"Eevee's? You sure?"  
"Um, no, not really..."  
"I'M A FREAKING MUNCHLAX YOU TWAZES!" she screamed, stamping her feet on the grate, "MUNCHLAXES HAVE COMPLEATLY DIFFERENT PAWS TO THOSE FREAKING FUGLY PIECES OF DESU-DESU CRAP!"

Ashton sweatdropped. "Seren," he said, "You have rage."

"SCREW YOU!" she barked.

"Okay, okay, you're a Munchlax! Come in, come in!"

The gate on the Wigglytuff tent (Which Seren had failed to notice until now) sprung open with a loud clatter. The two walked inside, Seren screaming, "GREAT! More stairs!"

By the time they'd reached the first floor, Ashton had shoved Seren's bandana into her mouth to get her to stop talking. He paused as he looked around the place, eyes twinkling.

"Omigosh, this place is so cool!" he cried, tail twitching. Seren mumbled something and pulled her bandana from her mouth, wincing at the slobberyness of it. "You are paying for that," she stated, wiping it along her fur.

"Go away; we don't want your sort here!"

The two frowned. "Who said that?" she asked, glancing at him.

"No clue," he replied.

"By here, imbeciles," the cawing male voice cried. They glanced down to see a Chatot standing there, its beady eyes glaring at them.

"We don't want to buy any sort of vacuum cleaner, take any sort of survey, or anything of that rotten nonsense!"

"Crazy bird says what?" Seren said, frowning.

"Leave!" the Chatot snapped, flicking his wings at them, "NOW."  
"But we want to form an exploration team!" Ashton cried. This was his life-long dream, and he didn't want to see it shatter suddenly because some Chatot thought he was a salesman.

The Chatot paused. "...an exploration team?" he said quietly. A large grin formed on his face, before he added cheerfully, "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? My name is Charo – that's C-h-a-r-o, in case you are interested. I am the second in command here at the Wigglytuff Guild. The Guild Mistress shall be most pleased to have new members!"  
"Mistress?" Ashton said, as Charo led them down another level. "I thought the leader of the Guild was a guy."  
"Oh, no, he retired," Charo explained, "The leader is now Willow, his daughter."  
Ashton nodded. "Ah, yes, of course."

Seren frowned at them. Soon, they reached a door in the corner of the room. Charo coughed slightly and explained, "Now, some rules before you go before the Guild Mistress. Do not, under any circumstances, get on her bad side. Do not try to provoke her or anything of the like. Understand?"  
The two nodded nervously. "Good," he said, before knocking on the door gently, "Guild Mistress? I have some new recruits! I'm coming in!"

He pushed open the door and the three walked in. A young Wigglytuff sat on a chair (_More like a throne! _Seren thought) on the other side of the room.

"Guild Mistress," Charo said, "These are the two Pokémon who wish to join the Guild."  
Willow blinked her wide blue eyes at them. "What're your names?" she asked, her mouth in a bright grin.

"A-Ashton," he stammered, "An-and this is Seren."

"Hi," Seren said, waving her claws nervously.

"No need to be scared!" she laughed, "Now, before you join, do you have a Team name?"

"A name?" Ashton said, "Oh jeez, I didn't think about a name...Seren? Can you think of one?"  
Seren paused for a few seconds and said suddenly, "DoomBiskit."

The two males frowned at her. Ashton nudged her. "DoomBiskit?" he whispered, "You sure?"  
"Yeah," she whispered back, "There's something about that name that reminds me of something, but I don't know what..."

"Okay then! Team DoomBiskit it shall be!" Willow cried, her grin even wider now, "Charo, get them the forms."  
"Forms?" the two said in unison, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yes! You know, we need to keep basic stats on you!"

"Yeah, course..."  
Charo handed the two a set of forms and a pen each. "You can fill them out in your rooms," he explained, "Follow me."  
Seren let out a large sigh of relief. Bed, at last!


	3. Joining the Guild and First Mission

Chapter 3 – The First Client.

Charo led Ashton and Seren along a long corridor. Either side of them were several rooms with names and numbers on them.

"You two shall be staying in this room here," Charo explained, pointing a wing towards the last room of the corridor. There was only the number 10 imprinted on it in silver-coloured paint. There was a small slot with a blank sheet of paper inserted in it. "Write your names and team name on there when you get the chance, okay?" he continued, "Go in, and see how you like it." He pushed open the door.

"Wait, I'm SHARING a room with a GUY?" Seren exclaimed, "He might be a perv!"

"Seren, shut up," Ashton groaned, giving her a weak punch in the side. She grunted and glanced around the room.

On the opposite side of the room was a large window with a great view of the sea behind it. In front of the window were two small beds, and in-between them, there was a small bedside table. She shrugged.

"It'll do," she muttered, jumping onto the bed nearest to her, bouncing up and down twice before landing with a creak of springs.

"Just come and give these to me once you've filled them in," Charo said, placing two sets of forms and two pens on the bedside table, before he hopped out of the room.

Ashton jumped up onto the bed opposite her and glanced over the forms. He grabbed a pen to start filling his out, before he noticed that Seren was staring blankly at the sheet, pupils wide.

"You do know how to read, don't you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow lightly.

"Of course!" Seren snapped, "It's just that...I don't understand this writing..."  
He sighed and lifted himself up next to her. "Want me to help you?"  
"O-okay..."  
He smiled and nodded. "Right, well, that part asks for your full name," he said, pointing at the first line, "Remember how to write?"

"Yeah, yeah," she sighed, quickly scribbling **Seren **on the dotted line then paused.

"You said full?" she said.

"Yes, of course," he replied with a brisk nod.

"Uh-um...I don't have a last name..."  
"Well, just make one up then!"  
"That's lying," she murmured, chewing the top of her pen.

"Just write, I dunno, Smith or something!" he groaned, "Anything!"  
She blinked innocently and wrote **Smith** next to her name.

"Okay, now, that asks for your age and birth-date," he said, pointing to the next field,"Do you remember that?"

"Yes, I do." She wrote **12, April 18th** on the sheet.

"You're only TWELVE?" he cried. "How old did you think I was?" she asked, blinking.

"Like, I dunno, at least fourteen, like me!"

"YOU'RE fourteen?" she laughed, "Woah!"

She gave him a quick but hard jab in the chest. "You're SHORT."

Ashton grunted and pointed to the next line. "Okay, gender. Well, that's easy."  
Seren snorted and wrote **Female** on the line.

He nodded his head and helped her read through the rest of it.

After a while, he happened to glance at the clock on the bedside table and gasped.

"Oh my God!" he cried, "It's ten to twelve!" She frowned and glanced over.

"Oh, indeed it is," she said. She paused and yawned loudly. "God, I am knackered."  
"Ew..."  
"No, knacker_ed_, you creep..."

Seren snorted and pushed Ashton off of her bed. "Sleepy-times now," she yawned, burrowing deep under the covers and almost instantly falling asleep, snoring. Ashton grunted and jumped into his bed. He yawned. He hadn't realised how eventful his day had been.

_First I meet Seren, then we battle those crooks, and now...finally...I've joined the Guild..._  
A smile crept across his lips and he rolled onto his side, staring at the large lump in the bed that was Seren.

_Thanks bud..._

"HEY, YOU LAZY LAYABOUTS! WAKE UP! GUILDMISSTRESS IS GONNA BE MAA-AAD!"

Ashton leapt from his bed, eyes wide. "Wh-what the hell?" he groaned, covering his ears. A grunt came from the bed next-door.

"Five more minutes," Seren muttered, kicking her feet, "Just five more minutes..."  
"Well, at least **you're** awake, new guy!" the loud, harsh voice cried. He saw a Loudred standing by their door, his arms folded.

"I'm Layton," he growled, "I'm also your alarm clock. Now, get that lardy Munchlax up and get **ready**!" He stormed out of the room, head held high.

Ashton frowned and glanced at the clock. It was already nine.

"Seren!" he cried, "Wake up! We've slept in!"  
"We have?" Seren groaned, opening one eye and wincing at the sudden harsh light, "Oh...that's nice..."  
"Uh, not nice!" he cried, "C'mon girl, we gotta get going!" He jumped from bed and grabbed her paw, dragging her from her bed.  
"Warmth!" she said, reaching out a paw towards her bed, "Must...have...my...warmth back!"

"SHUT UP AND JUST WALK!" Ashton snapped, giving a tug at her arm.

"FINE," she snapped back, starting to run, dragging Ashton along the floor, "I'LL RUN!"

When the two finally reached the end of the corridor, they saw all eyes were on them. Seren was bright red in the face, her chest heaving. Ashton lay on the floor, dazed and confused.

"Sorry we took so long," she muttered, dragging him into the back of the line.

"Well, **finally**!" Layton exclaimed, "What took you so** long**?"

"Layton!" Charo cried, "That's quite enough! There is no need to shout at them, they are new, after all."  
Seren smirked and stuck her tongue out at Layton.

"I saw that," Charo said, a sharp tone in his voice. Seren let out a small ihumph/i and picked Ashton up to his feet.

"Right, now that that's over," he said, "Guild mistress?" He pushed his glasses up the rim of his beak and turned to Willow, who was grinning in an absent minded fashion at them all.

A sweatdrop rolled down Charo's face. "Willow!" he hissed, "Willow!"

Willow glanced at him, shaking her head. "Yes?" she said, blinking.

Seren nudged Ashton in the ribs and twirled her claw beside her head. He nodded, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, whatever," Charo muttered, turning back to face everyone, "Well, might as well get the motto underway with."  
"Motto?" Seren whispered, "What...kind of motto?"  
"Well I don't know, do I?" Ashton hissed, jabbing her in the stomach, "Just, listen!"

"ONE!" Charo cawed, leaping in the air.  
"Don't shirk at work!" the Guild yelled.

"TWO!"  
"Run away and pay!"  
"AND THREE!"  
"Smiles go for miles!"

"Alright then! Get to work!"  
The Guild let out a cheer and ran off to do whatever jobs they needed to do.

Seren and Ashton glanced at each other, slightly dumbstruck at what just happened.

"Hey, what DID just happen then?" Seren asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No clue, but I suppose we'll just have to live with it," Ashton muttered, lowering his ears.

"AH! You two!"

Charo hopped over, smiling. "So, how was your first night here?" he asked, tilting his head.

"Great, thanks," Ashton said, "Uh, want me to get the forms?"  
"That'd be nice." The Pikachu nodded and scrambled back to their room.

"So," Charo said, "Seren, wasn't it?"  
"Uh, yeah," Seren said, blinking, "Wha'?"

"Well, as leader of Team DoomBiskit, I have these for you!"  
_WH-when was I made leader?_ Seren thought, eyes darting around, _Ehh...oh well, gotta live with it, I suppose..._  
Charo handed her a tan messenger bag. "Look inside," he said, his smile growing wider.

She opened the back and looked inside. In the bag there was a bright purple ribbon, a neon green one, a small dark green bracelet-type thing, a large sheet of paper and two small pin badges.

"A Purple and Green Ribbon, a Power Band, a map and your Exploration Team Badges!" Charo exclaimed, folding his wings, "Impressive, no?"  
Seren got out the Purple Ribbon and ran in gently through her claws."I-It's beautiful!" she gasped, stroking it across her cheek, "An-and so soft!"

"Yes, it's all very nice isn't it?" he chuckled, smiling.

"Here you are sir!" Ashton said, arriving back, "All forms, ready~!"

"Good, good." Charo nodded and started to walk off, then quickly paused. "Oh, wait. You need your first assignment...Follow me!" He jumped up into the air and flew off towards the stairs.

The two followed quickly.

"Right, here you go," Charo said, pointing to a large cork board on the wall, "This is the Missions Board." His eyes scanned around the wall, and give a brisk nod of the head when he found a job. "Ah-ha! Here's one!" he cried, shoving it into Seren's paws.

She and Ashton read over it.

**Hello Guild Members.**

**A case of misfortune has befallen upon my daughter – she has lost something very important to her.**

**It's a bright pink scarf** (Seren noted that there was something scribbled out before the word scarf) **- a Pecha Scarf? - And she thinks she's lost it somewhere along Drenched Bluff.**

**I urge you to find it quickly, as it is very important to her**.

**Thank you.**  
There was a name scribbled out along the bottom of the page, and replaced with the name **July Delcatty.**

"It's quite a simple mission," Charo said, "So; it should bring you too much trouble!"

"Right sir!" Ashton cried, giving him a salute," We'll try our very hardest and best!"  
"Good." He strolled away, head held high.

"Come on Seren, this'll be great!" Ashton exclaimed, turning on his heel and grinning at her.

"Yeah, um, yeah," Seren muttered, twitching up her muzzle in a puzzled fashion.

"Quit acting so glum Seren," he replied, as they walked out the Guild, "This is our first mission, and I wanna make a good impression. It's like, the first day of a new job...well, it is technically."

"I know, but we're just getting some scarf for some lil' kid, it's not like we've solving a murder or something!" she replied, with a flick of her ears.

"We get paid." She grunted half-heartedly.

"In food as well as cash which can pay for even more food..." he added slowly.  
Her head shot up, eyes twinkling. "WELL COME ON LET'S GET GOIN!" she yelled, dragging him down the cross roads to their mission destination.

"We're... – _pant -_ here!" she gasped, massaging her belly, "Aww great, more stomach cramp..."  
"Your own fault," he growled, "Anyways, I've never seen someone so, uh, _large_ run so fast!"  
"You can call me fat, dumb-ass, I don't care!" she stated, raising an eyebrow at him, "I'm fat, I gotta deal with it!"

"Oh, right, it's just that most girls I've gone out with take it into quite an offence when I call them fat," he chuckled, "I'm telling ya', you don't know HOW many girls have ended it with me 'coz their butt DID look big in it!"  
Seren glanced at him, her cheek turning bright pink. "How-how many girls have you gone out with them?" she asked, tweaking with her bandana nervously.  
"Oh, only about, four," he replied casually, "I'm sure you've had-"

He paused and glanced at her. Her cheeks were still bright red and she turned away.

"Right, well, um, we should just keep going," she said, her voice breaking into a high pitched tone, "You know, find that...scarf..."

His ears twitched. "Yeah, of course..."  
The two walked through the many long corridors in silence for a few hours, until Seren finally spoke up again.

"I mean, yeah, of course I've had boyfriends!" she cried, "What kind of girl my age hasn't had a boyfriend?"  
"Seren, relax, my first girlfriend wasn't until I was thirteen," he sighed, raising an eyebrow, "Also, a lot of people haven't been in a relationship by your age!"

"Oh, what do you know?" she said, flicking her paw, "How can you have four girlfriends in three years?"  
He stopped and stared at her. "Do the math."

She frowned and counted off on her claws. "Ohhhh..."

"There you go," he muttered, rolling his eyes. He paused and glanced over his shoulder.

"You...get the feeling we're being watched?" he whispered, staring down one of the corridors.

"Not really," she replied with a yawn, "Can we just get this over with?"  
"Ching-ling-ling-ling~!"

The Chingling pounced out of the corridor and towards Ashton, its bell chiming lightly. Ashton growled and aimed a Thunderbolt at it. It hit and the Chingling backed away slightly.

_Okay, that scared it off_ he thought, turning...

Only to be grabbed in a tight Wrap attack by another two Chingling.

"Seren!" he choked, "He-help me!"

She turned and blinked. iThey're hurting him/i she thought, furrowing her brow, iNo way am I letting them get away with it!/i

She charged towards the two Chingling and punched them away. The three Pokémon grouped together, whispering.  
"Gee, thanks Seren," Ashton cried, rubbing his neck, "Those things sure have a grip!"

"I bet they do," Seren muttered, cracking her knuckles, before raising her voice at them, "Hey! You three! Scram, will ya', or I'll do a lot more than just punch ya'!"

The three Chingling turned around and glared at her. She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm serious," she chuckled. They edged towards her. "Too late!" she barked, using Metronome.

She leapt into the air, aiming deep purple blobs at them. The three screeched loudly and ran off, still screeching. She landed back down again and cracked her knuckles.

"THAT WAS SO COOL!" she exclaimed suddenly, twirling on her heel, "Omigosh Ashton, didya see that?" Huh? Didya?"  
Ashton nodded nervously. "Uh, yes, I did Ser," he said slowly, "Come on, let's get going."  
Another few hours passed, until finally...

"Look, there it is!" Ashton cried, pointing in the distance, "The Pecha Scarf!"

He ran over and grabbed it in his teeth. Seren waddled over and snorted. "This is what we're looking for?" she cried, staring at the small piece of pink cloth in disgust, "God...you be glad it's pretty."  
She glanced back the way they'd come from. "Do we have to trek ALL the way BACK?" she groaned.  
"No," he sighed, grabbing the two Exploration Team Badges, "These'll teleport us back."  
He pressed a small button on his badge and instantly vanished in a glow of yellow light. Seren yelped and did the same.

"Oh my GOSH! THANK YOU~! NYA~!"

The small female Skitty chirped happily as her older sister, an Absol, tied the pink scarf around her neck. The Absol turned and stared at the two with ice blue eyes. Unlike most Absol, she was dark grey with slightly lighter grey fur. She bowed her head gratefully.

"Thank you," she said, "My sister, Tilly, is thankful. Tilly, what do you say?"

"Thank you! Nya~!" The Skitty, Tilly, grinned at Team DoomBiskit. "Mommy couldn't be here, 'coz she had to –" She paused as her sister, Hope, gave her a shooting glance from the corner of her eye.

"She, uh, had some business to attend to," she mumbled, twitching her tail.

"Well, we're glad we could help!" Ashton exclaimed, smiling sweetly down at Tilly, "We're also glad you got your scarf back!"  
"Nyaa," she purred in reply. Seren sneered at the Kitten Pokémon and turned to Hope.

"I was told of a payment?" she asked, her voice low.

"Seren!" he hissed, flicking her in the ribs. She barely felt it.

"No, the fat one is right," Hope stated calmly, "We said there'd be a reward, and here one is."  
She pushed a large cloth bag towards them.

"Inside you should find your payment of 1500 Poké, a few Berries and a Defence Band," she continued, "Now, we must leave." She glanced down at Tilly. "Come sister, we have to buy the groceries for Mother."  
"Okay!" Tilly meowed, "Bye Ashton! Bye Seren! Nya~!"

Once the two had left the room, Ashton turned to Seren.

"1500 Poké?" he whispered, "That's a lot of money! Especially for what we did!"  
"Who cares, we have a load of cash!" she cried, "And food. FREE FOOD." She let out a happy sigh and held her belly. "I could get used to this job."

"Not quite yet!"

She groaned and blinked at Charo. "What?" she moaned, "You're not gonna take my food away?"  
"Not your food, no," Charo laughed, wiping his glasses with his wing, "But some of your money – I suppose that would cover the costs of the payment of food though."  
"...iwhat/i?" she hissed, edging closer to him, "You're telling me you're taking our money? Our GIFT? Our PAYMENT?"

"Well, it's Guild policy!" Charo squawked, with a slight shiver. He was getting quite intimidated by the three foot three tall Munchlax that was standing over him, baring her fangs. "Everyone has a certain amount of their money taken to pay for the costs of their well-being and feeding and such!"  
Seren stepped back. "So...it technically comes back to us anyway?"  
"Y-yes!"

iWhatever keeps you from killing me,/i he thought, with a nervous grin. "Right, so the total sum you know have is..."  
He grabbed out some of the coins and threw the remainder back.

"150 Poké?" Ashton cried, before groaning, "Urg, dear Dialga, why?"

"Oh well, I think we could buy another one of them slap-up meals at the cafe!" Seren giggled.

"Which reminds me," Charo said, "Dinner is served."  
He flew off downstairs.

"Dinner?" Seren squealed, running after him. Ashton twitched his ears.

"That is the fastest I've seen her run," he muttered, scampering after them.

"So, you're the new Guild recruits, huh?"

A young female Sunflora in around her early twenties sat beside Seren, who nodded.

"Man, who made this food?" she cried, drooling.

"Allaw," the Sunflora said, "She's the best cook around."  
"Oh, quit it Sally," a Chimeco giggled, her cheeks flushed a pale pink as she placed a large bowl of soup on the middle of the table.

"Well, it's true!" Sally cried, "So, what're your names?" She turned back to Seren, who was already gulping down her soup greedily. She grimaced slightly and glanced at Ashton who sighed.

"This thing is Seren," he said, "And I'm Ashton."

"I'm not a thing!" Seren cried, soup dripping from her maw. He simply shook his head at her.

"I'm assuming you're Sally, yes?"  
Sally gave a brisk nod. "Yes," she said, "That's Ben."  
She pointed a leaf at a Bidoof across the table from her. "He's my partner for most missions, unfortunately," she added, in a hushed voice, "Say hello Ben!"  
"Hm?" Ben glanced up and smiled. "Well howdy!" he cried, "It's so nice to have some new members here at the Guild, yup-yup!"  
"Ain't you cheerful?" Seren muttered into her bowl, licking her lips, "Can I have some more?"  
"I think you've had more than your fair share Ser," Ashton growled, flicking her, "Now, just quit moaning."

"Aww, don't be so hard on her!" Ben said sympathetically, "I know what some friends can be like when it comes to food, I can tell ya'."  
"Eh," was the only reply.

Meanwhile...

_"Not much further now Tilly," Hope whispered, leaping up onto a rock and glancing down on her sister. The Skitty scrabbled her way up, panting. "You okay?"_

_"Yeah, fine, nya," Tilly panted, giving herself a quick shake._

_The two leaped up more of the fallen rocks until they finally reached a cave. Outside sat a second Skitty._

_This one was older than Tilly, around eleven years old. Unlike most Skitty who have no visible eyes, this Skitty had large bright pink ones, which shone in the pale evening light._

_"Well?" she asked, head cocking to one side. The small bell on her lilac collar tinkered._

_"The team found it!" Tilly mewed, "They were very nice!"_  
_"What Pokémon were they?" the second Skitty asked, giving Tilly a friendly lick on the forehead._

_"A Munchlax and a Pikachu," Hope said, "Team DoomBiskit, I think it was."_  
_The Skitty's ears shot up. "DoomBiskit?" she whispered, "Where have I heard that name before?"_

_"Can't be," a deep, gruff voice growled. The muscular male Munchlax stepped outside and stared at the three females. He was taller than most Munchlax, his large body covered in scars._

_"She didn't come here," he hissed. The Skitty stared at him and shook her head._

_"I never said she had," she said, walking inside. Tilly and Hope followed suit, leaving the Munchlax by himself. He glared down at the valley below and shook his head._

_"She didn't come here!" he cried, clawing the ground before storming back inside, "But **they** definitely did..."_


End file.
